Feeling Unaccomplished / Disappointed after Socials
Question by User californiastateuni
Still trying to work out the kinks of mental block, freezing for new patterns and subtle techniques for pressure etc… I sometimes come home just a bit disappointed but I notice when I dance w/ people on my level or ones who follow very well, each songs multiply into great feels.
Of course, I don’t want to rely or keep seeking some kind of validation or rely heavily on dopamine because it blurs the lines of why I’m there (to learn and to have fun) but networking isn’t half bad either. Then again, I know people who go out to socials almost every day of the week and sometimes see them get the same mistakes or get stuck, I just don’t want to be reliant on going out (something, something mental health) and some say that taking long breaks allows the brain to readjust and you remember things easier. But socials makes everyone wanting more, I think it can be awfully bad just as with having too much of one thing.
Do you sometimes come home unaccomplished or just disappointed? If so, was it because of your performance, the venue or just the crowd? I fly solo, so would love to read more about solo people, how does your typical night go? How do you balance life and social dance?
I do come home disappointed sometimes, but it is not often. It happens, not every night will be great.
But for me the enjoyment of social dancing is dancing to the music, because I honestly love Salsa music so much that I don’t even care about my performance for the most part, I just enjoy dancing.
If I do come home disappointed, it will be because of the crowd/vibes.
Some potential reasons:
- too many leads
- severe lack of good dancers.
- Terrible music
I go to about 2 socials per week, sometimes 3. I feel that it leaves enough room to have more relaxing nights, as well as hanging out with my non-dancing friends. I find it fairly balanced this way, as I often go to socials alone and even though I am “friends” with many of the people I see there, it’s not the same as grabbing a drink with your pals and shooting the shit, or having a reggaeton/party night with them where you can really go crazy.
Dancing is like sport; sometimes you’re on form, with everything you try going right, and sometimes you’re not.
If it bothers you, set achievable developmental goals before you go to a social, and work on them as well as having fun.
If you’re focused on how well you’re dancing and simply not enjoying yourself then you’re doing it wrong.
Experience comes over time and if you’re going to socials only to end up disappointed then stick to workshops.
I use to get frustrated in the very beginning because I would see all these badass dancers and I wanted to improve fast!
Have I ever come home frustrated? You bet. But I just said fuck it and focused more on enjoying myself. I’m not going to dwell on a ‘off’ night at the social. Good luck!
1–2 really nice dances is enough to make my whole night feel good. It doesn’t always happen. A nice dance for me is either because we had a good lead/follow connection and successfully did a variety of moves OR there were lots of mess ups but we had lots of fun doing it because we were on the same page about wanting to keep trying and it just feeling like a safe environment where I can be the natural me that is passionate, curious and ambitious. I also quite enjoy dancing with complete novices who can follow.
But I do sometimes feel unaccomplished because the main social dancing night here is in a very tight space where there aren’t many moves you can do without stepping on other people, so it’s a bit more suited to socializing (which I’m new to in this environment) than ambitious dancing.